Here Come the Men In Black

Jada Pinkett Smith: Suri Is "Gorgeous."

Will Smith, however, was not as impressed with the eminent infant:

Vanilla Sky Is Falling

El bebe?

That joto?

There's no baby, you pendejos.

You Really Do Need To Ask Yourself

What HAS Mimi Rogers been doing with herself lately?
And where has she been?
Mr. Rochester indeed!

Oh, Mr. Rochester!

I must say I am relieved that it is only your poor, mad wife locked in a secret room on the third floor of Thornfield, not a baby!

QVC begins selling the new Suri Doll!

Based on info from recent Telluride sightings, a Suri doll has been created and added to the Marie Osmond Doll Collection. The Suri Doll can be purchased on QVC for the low, low price of $49.99!

Katie's Baby

When You Wish Upon...A Far Off Distant Planet

"Mork calling Xenu. Come in Xenu."

"Mork, who is this Xenu you speak of and why are you trying to call him?"

"Sorry Orson, I hear he's the hot new way to make friends, influence people and lose all of your money here on planet earth."

"Hrm, sounds suspicious if you ask me."

"That's easy for you to say. Oh great and faceless wonder. Can you make a baby out of a beachball? I thought not. Mork out."

Nanoo Nanoo

Sure Pam Dawber, it's all fun and games until YOUR make-believe baby hatches from a giant egg full of camel hair.
Suri Cruise is in hiding because she looks like Jonathan Winters.
Or worse, Orson.
Shazbot!

Sean Preston, Let Go of Mama's Sheep Coat

Well, God, y'all, I don't know! That baby's not in here.

One Step Beyond

Build-A-Baby?

Nice.

I Can't Blame the Kid For Hiding

I was worth (in 1953 dollars) millions, and look at me now...

An early-80s sci-fi sidekick. Yep, me, the first ever celebaby.

I know, I know, but they couldn't get Michael J. Fox...

The Caged Bird Sings

This is what happens to naughty Scientologists who say preposterous things like "Baby Suri is normal."

Dumbass, I Told You There's No Baby

Just because her "father" was in your closet...

A Grande No-Whip Baby, Please

Katie emerges for a hot latte...











...but a bit of wheedling was required.

Meanwhile, Suri is "back at the house."

Baby? Fiddle-Dee-Dee!

I may know nothin bout birthin babies, Miss Scarlett, but I doesn't think this baby was ever, ever even birthed.

Well, There Is an Easter Bunny...

The website TMZ has acquired a copy of Suri's birth certificate.

"...the 'Attendant or Certifier' who signed the certificate -- Anne Heffernan, RNC -- was not in the delivery room and did not see the baby. But a hospital rep tells TMZ that Heffernan is authorized to sign when the doctor is not available. A hospital rep said 'normally the doctor signs' but it isn't a requirement."

Anne Heffernan (pictured) was not available for comment.

And She Did It, Just Like That

I swear officer, there really IS a baby in there.
Right behind the carrots

...But Define "Baby" For Me, Will Ya?

I want to say one thing to the American people…I want you to listen to me…I’m going to say this again…

Katie Holmes did give birth to that baby, Suri Cruise.